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You know how some kids have a monster under the bed? Or something that lives in the closet? Not me… I think I have bears…. Or possibly aliens I’m not sure yet (perhaps thats where all my socks go?) You probably think I’m crazy at this point right? But I swear its got to be true! And I have proof!

Exhibit A: About 6 years or so ago I managed to tear a ligament in my ankle… How you might ask? In. My. Sleep! It stands to reason that I must have been fighting off a bear or alien attack or something right?? People don’t just tear ligaments and things whilst asleep for no reason!

Exhibit B: I am ALWAYS waking up with bruises I didn’t go to bed with… Almost as if I’ve fought an invisible monster in my sleep….  (either bears or aliens obviously!)

Exhibit C: When I wake up it looks like something has chewed on my hair, this is obviously the bears work!

Exhibit D: A few weeks back I managed to seriously mess up my knee, once again, in my sleep! I swear I must have round-house kicked a bear in the face! (or something)

Exhibit E: This morning I woke up with a jammed finger (ow) and my fingers were all very sore in the joints! Why? Isn’t it obvious!! I punched the bear in his face! What other explanation can there be??

I’ve got all the evidence I need, its obviously bears! (or aliens) Do y’all have bears in your rooms? Maybe one day I’ll be able to make peace with the bears (or aliens) so we can stop fighting and I can stop getting injured! I wonder how I should start the peace talks….. Hmmmmm